(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
LONDON – Inspired and moved after two hours of serving the greatest legal mind present on the table, veteran server at London’s luxurious The Grill at The Dorchester Frank Neville, 52, donated the entirety of the tip that he received at dinner on Wednesday night to Chief Justice of Pakistan Saqib Nisar’s Dam Fund.
“Pakistan needs this more than my already well fed children,” shouted an awestruck Neville, as he proceeded to pick up the three fifty-pound notes from the restaurant bill folder and jumped towards the small bowl at the centre of the dinner table wherein the CJP’s fund was being collected.
Eyewitnesses reveal that Neville was inspired by many things that he overheard from a very loud CJP Nisar throughout the course of the evening, but the most prominent among these was what the waiter dubbed ‘steadfast dedication to dams’.
“What we have right here is a dam constructed by myself, my funders and my adorning fans,” Neville heard CJP Nisar say as the judge pointed towards the guest surrounding the round table.
“We are the barrier, seated in a circle, and what we are containing herein is patriotism, philanthropy and my personal ego boost chamber,” the CJP further said.
At press time, Neville was posing for a selfie with CJP Nisar outside the judge’s Mayfair suite at The Dorchester. “Pakistan zindabad!” shouted Neville after a successful click.
