Ayaz Amir admitted to hospital as ticket-nahi-mila-itis reaches critical stage

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Former PML(N) MNA and columnist Ayaz Amir was admitted to hospital in the wee hours of Thursday morning after his ticket-nahi-mila-itis reached a critical – possibly terminal – stage.

“Yes, the patient was wheeled in last night in critical condition,” said Dr Saleem Hassan at PIMS, Islamabad. “The patient’s first diagnosis was right before the 2013 general elections, after which it started getting worse and worse, leading to a stage where he started losing his mental faculties and reasoning skills.”

“It was really sad to see him slip from being a writer like that to becoming one of those angry uncles who say things like ‘these politicians should all be shot dead’ and ‘even the army is better than these guys’ and ‘say what you will about Qadri, but….’,” said his old friend Rasheed Haider.

Amir is expected to continue filing his columns for Roznama Dunya and appearing on TV show Think Tank from his hospital bed through live video link.

Till the filing of this press report, Amir was heard repeating in his bed, on a loop, the Mao quote: “Everything under heaven is in utter chaos; the situation is excellent.”