(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
TAUNTON/ISLAMABAD – After the Prime Minister Imran Khan announced late on Wednesday night that he is forming a high-powered commission to probe the role of Shoaib Malik and Asif Ali in the team, the latter has retorted.
Talking to the media after Pakistan’s defeat against Australia, middle order batsman Asif Ali said that the criticism directed against him is especially unfair.
“People question my selection in the side. They say that given that my performances are in the T20 format, why I am being selected in the ODIs. Those critics clearly have no idea what is happening in the country, especially since some of those critics are the ones that are happening to the country,” said Asif Ali.
“To those who question my selection, I say that using T20s – still a format of cricket, one must remember – as the criteria for selection in ODIs – also a form of cricket – is much better than using ODIs as criteria for the selection of the Prime Minister – a position which has nothing to do with cricket,” he added.
Asif Ali has come under severe criticism after dropping crucial catches and failing to perform in the middle order. The power-hitting batsman urges the nation to show similar patience with him as they have showed with the country’s PM.
“At least I am not dropping the rupee and failing to perform as the head of government,” he maintained.
