(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD/LAHORE/KARACHI/QUETTA – The nation’s proud and patriotic institution of vegetable vendors, which has always put Pakistan first and sacrificed anything and everything for the country, on Tuesday decided to take a stringent and voluntary cut in their earnings.
The announcement from the national Fruit And Vegetable Junction (FAVJ), the national body of the vegetable and fruit vendors, came after the fiscal budget for 2019-20 was revealed.
“Given the economic challenges for the country, the proud FAVJ of Pakistan has decided to take stringent cuts in our earnings, which will be depicted in the rates of vegetables and fruits being sold across the country,” said the Vegetable Sellers Public Relations (VSPR) Director General Bha Shakoor.
The cuts taken by the proud national institution is reflected in the juxtaposition between the vegetable rate list and the price at which they are being sold.
“Just take the example of the tomatoes – a basic need of the motherland that the proud FAVJ will full. The rate list depicts that the tomatoes be sold for Rs15 per kilogramme, while the FAVJ has decided to sell tomatoes for only 15 rupees per kg,” Shakoor added.
“However, the patriotic cuts taken will not mean any compromise on the quality of tomatoes, or any other vegetable or fruit,” he added.
Similar to tomatoes, potatoes worth Rs20 per kg are being sold for Rs20 per kg and onions worth Rs42 per kg are being sold for Rs42 per kg.
The FAVJ Chief Bha Shuja meanwhile said that the voluntary cuts taken by the institution he heads should not be taken as a favour to the nation.
“But if the nation chooses to interpret it as such, we are not going to go against the nation’s wishes,” Shuja added.
