(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
The federal government has announced the initiation of a new plan to tackle the existence of active militant sanctuaries by painting over them with traditional truck art.
The cutting edge plan aims to promote a ‘good’ and ‘soft’ image of the country and ignore persistent security problems.
“Yes it is true that Pakistan has a poor global image because of these terror havens” admitted a government official to The Dependent.
“But that is why we are going to cover up terror havens by promoting fun and quirky things like truck art.” he added.
“The plan furthermore aims to push things like coke studio, the footballs made in Sialkot, our awesome mangoes, CPEC and K2. Oh! Btw, did you know K2 was the second tallest peak in the world? How cool is that!” he added.
When asked what exactly was meant by “painting over,” the official said it was both literal and figurative.
“Yes, we understand the nuances of international perception which is why our approach is multifaceted. First we will try to divert attention by showing people pictures of truck art whenever they try to talk about terror havens. If that doesn’t work, we’ll just get crop dusters and paint truck art all over wherever these havens are.” he said.
According to another anonymous source, the government is also thinking of making terrorists less threatening by dressing them up in colourful ajrak shawls.
