Mainstreaming of strategic assets in ECP declared overwhelming success


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

RAWALPINDI – The little over year old strategy of mainstreaming strategic assets into the Election Commission of Pakistan was declared an overwhelming success in a high level meeting between officials responsible for formulating and implementing the policy.

The mainstreaming process, which has been in the news for the past year or so, was designed to accommodate militants into state institutions so as to normalise their presence in the society and increase their acceptance, while reducing the violence they cause.

The meeting called on Thursday afternoon reiterated that this is precisely what had been achieved.

“The masterstroke was the decoy that was to force the opponents to believe that this mainstreaming would be in the Parliament of the country, and the mastermind for this decoy deserves all the praise that we can give him boys,” said one senior official while pointing to another senior official who was sitting in the centre of the row right of the meeting table.

“So well done, Amjad! This couldn’t have been possible without you.”

Sources privy to the meeting further reveal that a separate meeting was also announced for next week to formally celebrate what was dubbed ‘the main plan’ in the meeting.

“Let’s wait up before going ahead with that one boys,” was the final call in the meeting.