Nobel Prize for Literature preannounced for anyone not coming across as abominable jerk while criticising this pic

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STOCKHOLM – The Nobel committee has decided to grant the 2018 Nobel Prize for Literature to anyone who does not come across as an abominable jerk, while criticising this picture in writing, The Dependent has learnt.

The committee, composed of five members appointed by the Norwegian parliament, which is usually formed much later, has been put together earlier to cater to the preannouncement.

According to a document available with The Dependent, the committee has already been tasked with sifting potential winners for next year’s prize by ‘monitoring comments that are written with, underneath, or in any relation to’ the image in question.

In the image, the youngest Nobel laureate in history Malala Yousafzai, who was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize at the age of 17 for her activism for her education activism, is seen walking down a UK street.

While amateurs might find it hard to criticise this picture, Nobel insiders confirm that they’ve been overwhelmed with submissions on Facebook and Twitter.

“The real challenge is to point out an issue with this image, but also keep your dignity and self-respect intact, while not revealing yourself as an abominable jerk, which has been finalised as the criteria for next year’s Nobel Prize in Literature,” confirms an insider.

At press time, despite continued investigative probes, The Dependent could not find out what exactly it is about that picture that contestants could find worthy of criticism.