(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
LAHORE – The Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) is hopeful that their supreme leader will avenge the defeats against India and Bangladesh in the Asia Cup after the Islamabad High Court suspended the sentences handed over to former premier Nawaz Sharif by the National Accountability Bureau (NAB) court.
PML-N Spokesperson Marriyum Aurangzeb has made it clear that it is Nawaz and Nawaz alone who can save this nation’s middle-order batting lineup with his fierce cover drives.
“You heard Mian Nawaz Sharif once. He said the cover drive must burn the grass through to the boundary line and that’s what he’s good at,” she said.
Reacting to the irresponsible batting display by the top order in the Asia Cup, she said the PML-N supremo would have padded up himself and left for the UAE to join the squad if this had happened under the PML-N rule.
“We all know how seriously he considers cricket. I think even Babar Azam can take a few leaflets from Nawaz Sharif’s batting guide,” the former info minister suggested.
The PML-N workers and leaders are all jubilant over the release of the former premier.
“Pakistan’s defeat on one hand and Nawaz Sharif’s release on the other, it is clearly a hint that bigger challenges await this country which is why the messiah is out to counter them,” one worker said.