(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Defending his decision to induct so many electables into the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf and give them tickets in the upcoming elections, Imran Khan said that the two’s teams faced such losses because neither had electables.
“They were blackmailed by so-called ideological voices to include in the team only those players who were from Argentina and Portugal, which is a silly so-called rule and look what happened to them,” said Khan, while speaking to reporters at a press conference in Bani Gala.
“Where are the so-called ideologues now?”
“You can’t be a nice guy here. You are in it to win. And you can’t win without such decisions,” he said.
“My advice to any team going to the final: don’t be shy about losing the deadwood and get ahead of the other team, even if it means getting into a Jeep that has miraculously made its way in the stadium at the last moment, driven by agriculture department section officers.”
“Win this thing, Goddamnit!”
