Newly formed MQM-E only Muttahida faction participating in elections

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

KARACHI – The latest (at the time of the filing of this report) faction of the Muttahida Qaumi Movement (MQM) was formed around Iftar time on Wednesday, claiming itself to be the only Muttahida faction that will be contesting the upcoming general elections.

The newly formed Muttahida Qaumi Movement-Election (MQM-E) faction claims it has nothing to do with any other Muttahida groups including, but not limited to, MQM-Pakistan, MQM-London, MQM-Haqiqi, MQM-Meri, MQM-Teri, MQM-Ainwein.

The MQM-E officials also say that they haven’t originated from PIB Colony or Bahadurabad factions, and are in fact ‘complete newcomers’.

“But we represent the true MQM-E, we represent everything what the Muttahida Qaumi Movement stands for in the 2018. Because nobody knows our manifesto or even the foundation of our politics, nobody knows what exactly we stand for and nobody really knows who we actually are,” an MQM-E representative told The Dependent wishing anonymity which they said was a requirement of the latest (at the time of the filing of this report) MQM faction.

“However, what we do know is that we are more MQM than the rest of the folks masquerading as MQM and the fact that none of them would really be participating in the election,” another MQM-E leader said, also wishing anonymity.