Attention-starved Nawaz looking for journalists to ask him about origins of 9/11 attacks

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

ISLAMABAD: Beleaguered and attention-starved former prime minister and Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) Quaid Muhammad Nawaz Sharif on Tuesday said he’s looking for journalists who’d be willing to interview him about the origins of the 9/11 attacks.

Talking to the reporters outside the accountability court (AC) after attending proceedings in the Avenfield apartments corruption reference, he asked if anyone was willing to publish an interview that would not only result in a National Security Committee meeting, but might spark a raid from Washington.

“If they want to hang me, they can….if they want to send me to the jail, they can,” Nawaz said. “But they will not stop me from giving interviews. They cannot stop me from creating hype and uproar. No, they cannot stop me from getting attention.”

The former premier reminded the media about what he said last month, and expressed outrage that no one was talking about it.

“There is clear bias against me, which is why people have stopped talking about my interviews from last month,” he said. “There’s more where that came from”

Nawaz threatened that if nobody stepped forward to conduct his interview on the 9/11 attacks immediately, he would burst the myths about the two World Wars and spill the beans on the origins of the universe.

“Let me tell you who was behind the biggest bang of them all…”