Saqib Nisar demands to be let back in after family ‘accidentally’ locks him out of residence

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Former Chief Justice of the Supreme Court Saqib Nisar has demanded an immediate re-entry into his residence after he was mistakenly locked out.

“This is no way to treat a former Baba Rehmata,” he said, while speaking to himself in an extremely sparsely attended press conference.

“I suspect foul play here and would investigate completely once I am back inside.” “Why do I think this is not a mere accident and, in fact, the result of some nefarious hanky-panky,” he asked rhetorically.

“Because there has been a precedence to this. On several occasions last year, I have been locked out in this manner from my residence at the Judicial Enclave in Islamabad.”

“On all those occasions, I had told my family that I would like to deliver a speech to them about dams, politics, the length of ladies’ skirts and the progress that China has made, right after I come back from a quick cigarette break. I have been locked out on all these occasions.”

“I have to step out because Mrs. Nisar doesn’t allow smoking inside the house, but I think she is also the one who also won’t allow me inside the house,” he thought out loud.

“Or is it one of my children, I don’t know. Perhaps it is Abdul Shafiq, the cook, who doesn’t like me telling him I can cook better than him.”

“Perhaps you members of the press could also play a role in assisting me to get back in,” he told the three journalists present, which was met with a muted response.

“Uncle we are here just to get our ball back,” said Usman “Mani” Butt. “Please.”