(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD – The long pending merger of the Federally Administered Tribal Areas (FATA) with Khyber Pakhtunkhwa (KP) was completed on Thursday with one stroke of superhero Mamnoon Hussain’s pen.
The super powers of Mamnoon, whose secret identity is president of Pakistan, range from resolving tribal conflicts to reforming election bills. His weapon of choice remains his tried and tested fountain pen, with which he singlehandedly signed the 25th Constitutional Amendment Bill into law.
“FATA is not a part of KP,” Super Mamnoon said holding the omnipotent pen that has resolved crises across the South Asian region.
“And now it is,” he added, after pausing to sign the dotted line on the bill that had been authenticated by the Senate chairman and sent for assent under Article 75 of the Constitution.
“In fact there is no such thing as FATA anymore. There I got rid of another wretched century old remnant of the British colonial legacy. Super Mamnoon has defeated the East India Company,” he maintained.
South Asia’s most powerful superhero then went about continuing on his well thought out routine designed to uplift the people of the region, by partaking in a well-earned early afternoon sleep.
