Will do to you what I did to PPP, Zardari threatens PML-N

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer)

LAHORE – Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP) Co-Chairman Asif Ali Zardari on Wednesday said that he can do to the ruling Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) what he has done to PPP.

“If they do not care about Pakistan, they should at least care about their own party,” Zardari said while addressing a joint opposition protest rally to seek justice for the Model Town tragedy in Lahore. “They should look at my proven record at absolutely destroying parties. Look what I’ve done to the PPP.”

He claimed that only the PPP cares about Pakistan, its soil, and the people of its soil.

“But still look what I did to it. They (PML-N leaders) should know that they can be destroyed anytime I wish to do so, but I just think for [the betterment] of Pakistan,” said Zardari.

The PPP co-chairman also thanked the attendees for showing solidarity and said that his message is the same for all those present in the rally regardless of the party they supported.

“My brothers and sisters, I thank you for coming to this protest here. I don’t differentiate between you based on which party you support. I am perfectly capable of completely obliterating the parties of each one of you present here.”