‘Retaliation to Balakot attack ordered in my tenure,’ Nawaz Sharif boasts to Kot Lakhpat inmates

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

LAHORE – Former Prime Minister and Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) Supremo Nawaz Sharif has claimed that the Pakistan Air Force’s (PAF) response to Indian Air Force’s (IAF) attack on Balakot had been ordered during his tenure.

“The civil and military top hierarchy knows the fact that the PAF jets had planned to attack Indian targets in response to Balakot attack when I was the prime minister,” Nawaz boasted on Thursday to fellow prison inmates at the Kot Lakhpat Jail, where he’s serving a seven-year jail term in a corruption case.

One of the inmates told The Dependent that Nawaz was in good humour during his sitting with prison fellows meeting as he stated that “the weather is fine but we’re incarcerated, unable to enjoy the environ outside the prison, and the fruits of the PAF attacks that I had ordered”.

In separate meetings the party leadership has told Nawaz that the party workers and the masses are fully charged and ready to take full ownership of all positives that would come from PAF jets shooting down IAF aircraft and launching strikes inside Indian territory.

On a query by the ex-premier about his prevailing status as ‘Modi ka yaar’, PML-N leaders informed him that remains his default position as things stand, despite Prime Minister Imran Khan repeatedly talking about peace with the Indian Prime Minister even amidst war threats and actual cross-border military attacks.