New government completes almost three and half months in only 100 days

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

ISLAMABAD/LAHORE/KARACHI/PESHAWAR/QUETTA – The new Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf (PTI) has completed almost three and a half months in merely one hundred days in charge of the federal, Punjab and Khyber Pakhtunkhwa governments, independent reports have confirmed.

The most cited of these reports, compiled by an Islamabad based think tank Ginna Institute, unveils that the government managed to complete a total of three months and 10 days in a span of 100 days in charge of the country.

The most independent of surveys, conducted by The Dependent, reveal that there is nationwide consensus that the new government is indeed revolutionary and is achieving tasks never seen before in the volatile history of Pakistan.

Information Minister Fawad Chaudhry said theirs was the only government which had set targets for the number of days that they would complete in the first 100 days.

“And we achieved that number. And we would’ve completed over six months in 100 days had it not been for the previous government and the mess they left behind for us.”

Chaudhry said no scandal regarding the number of months and days having passed had surfaced during the first 100 days, making it the “first clean government” of the country.

Further lauding his government’s achievements Finance Minister Asad Umar presented the salient points of the economic achievements in the 100 days.

“We managed to complete the 10 days ourselves, but sought help from friendly nations Saudi Arabia and China who donated the remaining three months in aid,” he said.

However, despite such revolutionary achievements there are a few cynics trying to discredit all that the PTI government has achieved in these 100 days.

“The new government was blessed with the 31 day August and October in its first three months in charge,” said Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) leader Ahsan Iqbal. “Meanwhile, we had to deal with April and June at the end of our tenure, not to mention the aliens-backed February.”