(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Prime Minister Imran Khan has taken the decision not to book a seat in a commercial flight to Washington DC and to stand right behind the conductor for the duration of the flight.
“I don’t need the luxury of sitting down,” he told the nation in a Facebook Live video. “I will stand behind the conductor and will use his seat when he is checking tickets or screaming ‘Station! Station! Station!’”
“The PM’s decision has set the level for what austerity is supposed to look like,” said alleged journalist Sabir Shakir, who was part of the press entourage for the visit. “I felt bad that I was sitting while he was standing.”
“I tried to give him some food at least but I was harshly rebuked by the flight staff, who asked me not to feed him,” a visibly emotional Shakir said. Meanwhile, the journalists have come under criticism themselves for choosing the ‘seated’ option.
“Heads of other government departments, keeping in mind the current financial situation, have booked themselves in the cargo section of the plane,” said Air Marshall (retd.) Shahid Latif. “One senior officer wasn’t even easily being fit into a slot so poor chap had to be pounded in by some jawans. That’s the spartan spirit.”
