(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
The universe that we all occupy just might be a computer simulation, says a group of physicists inside Grand Theft Auto 5.
“The universe around us, with all its richness, all its complexities, might just be a computer simulation,” says Dr Stephen Fracker, professor of theoretical physics at the Los Santos Institute of Technology (LoSTech). “And we just might be automata, even if complex automata, within this construct.”
“It’s not just us physicists that speak of this, but the ancient philosophers and mystics have also alluded to this,” said Dr Tina Feinstein, lead author on a paper on the subject at LoSTech. “The ancient mystics, since long, have been speaking of fleeting, ephemeral visions of ‘Quit Game? (y/n)’. Could it mean something?”
“A possible sign of the simulation might be a suspension of what we would call the laws of physics in that how, at times, the Los Santos Police fights with criminals that have up to eight weapons on their person, including RPG launchers, but their clothes have the exact same form as if they were just carrying a cell-phone.”
“A violation of the laws of psychology as well, as these individuals, at times, simply walk up to normal Los Santos civilians and start beating the crap out of them,” said Dr Fracker. “For absolutely no reason. Not even to rob them.”
“Yes, in the beginning, it might seem a little too far fetched to you,” he said, “But there are some signs that would imply that a far more intelligent species is just…playing with us.”
“Maybe The Bard was right when he said ‘Like flies to wanton boys, are we to the gods….they kill us for their sport.’”