‘Indian Air Force attack nowhere near JeM hideout,’ says Khattak

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

ISLAMABAD – Rubbishing Indian propaganda in the aftermath of Tuesday’s Indian Air Force (IAF) strikes in Balakot, Federal Defence Minister Pervez Khattam said the IAF’s targeted site was ‘nowhere near’ the hideouts of Jaish-e-Mohammad.

Talking exclusively to The Dependent Khattak said the Indian government and media were spreading fake news.

“They are selling lies and spreading fake news for the consumption of the local populace ahead of the elections,” he said. “The Indian attack was actually nowhere near the JeM hideouts, which everybody knows are actually located quite a few…” he stopped after being interrupted by Foreign Minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi.

“Respected defence minister said that there are no JeM hideouts in Pakistan. And respected defence minister is right when he points this truth out to everyone. It is now your responsibility as responsible media to accurately quote him,” Qureshi told The Dependent even though he wasn’t posed the question or part of the interview.

When asked by this scribe what he felt about Indian claims of having killed over 300 terrorists inside Pakistani territory, Defence Minister Pervez Khattak issued categorical denial.

“Not one of them has been hurt by anyone. No one has touched them. All of them are safe by the grace of…” Khattak stopped after being interrupted by Qureshi again.

“Respected defence minister said that there are no terrorists in Pakistan. And respected defence minister is right when he points this truth out to everyone. It is now your responsibility as responsible media to accurately quote him,” Qureshi told The Dependent even though he wasn’t posed the question or part of the interview.