(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
NEW DELHI/LAHORE – After one of its leading agents was denied an ‘orderly’ to maintain his room in Lahore’s Kot Lakhpat jail, spy agency Research & Analysis Wing (RAW) on Thursday initiated an operation to fold the Indian spy’s bedding, well placed espionage sources have informed The Dependent.
RAW leadership, which had been hoping that after being given ‘better class’, their agent would be provided a prisoner to assist him maintain his room, has now tasked its leading officials with grocery shopping to help Sharif in his latest high-profile assignment.
One shopping list, available exclusively with The Dependent, includes detergent, mop, bucket, cleaner, scrub, scraper, gloves and fluffy bathroom slippers.
Earlier, the Indian agent, who has been sentenced to a seven-year ‘rigorous’ imprisonment handed down to him in the Al-Azizia Steel Mills/Hill Metal Establishment reference, had threatened to abort the mission to destabilise Pakistan unless reinforcements were sent to make his bed.
Sharif, a leading RAW operative, had been tasked with winning over the trust of the Punjabi masses to get elected as a Prime Minister, where he would conspire to improve relations between Pakistan and India while clashing with the powers that be.
After being caught in his conspiracy, and duly punished, Sharif has been replaced in Islamabad by a man working to improve relations between Pakistan and India without clashing with the powers that be.
Meanwhile, RAW is still struggling to find a replacement for Sharif at the helm of its top secret covert operation in Pakistan.
