Patriotic Faisal Vawda enters Dubai stadium with shiny new ball to bowl New Zealand out

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer)

DUBAI – A visibly enthusiastic Faisal Vawda, imbued with the sensation to do his motherland proud, entered Dubai International Cricket Stadium moments after the post-match conference concluded following the culmination of the second Test match between Pakistan and New Zealand.

A Member of the National Assembly, Vawda, who was dressed in the all whites that epitomise Test cricket attire, was wielding a brand new cricket ball as he ran straight into the ground, after both Pakistan and New Zealand sides had left for their hotels following the former’s win by an innings and 16 runs.

“Where are you New Zealand? I am here to destroy your batting lineup,” shouted Vawda standing in the middle of the ground, addressing a stadium that was just as empty as it had been across the four days of international cricket it had witnessed.

Despite no wickets at either end, Vawda looked to be ready to begin his spell with the cameramen he brought with himself capturing the historic moments.

“I was informed as I was in the vicinity and as a Pakistani I didn’t shy away. It’s my right to use my balls. At least I’m not a coward like many hiding behind keyboards and bullshitting,” Vawda said looking at the cameras that he had brought with himself.

At press time Vawda was marking his run up to begin the destruction of New Zealand batting in absentia