Pakistan to give 10,000 abducted journalists in aid to Saudi Arabia

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

RIYADH – Prime Minister Imran Khan will give 10,000 abducted journalists in aid to Saudi Arabia as part of the Future Investment Initiative Conference (FIIC) in Riyadh, Radio Pakistan reported.

According to a statement issued by the Foreign Office (FO) on Friday, the prime minister has vowed that Pakistan will play its part as a brotherly Muslim nation and give Saudi Arabia what it is in dire need of, while talking to King Salman bin Abdul Aziz on the phone.

The conference will host businessmen and “representatives of the abduction industry” and will serve as an “opportunity to interact with important leaders who are interested in investing their share of the lifted, silenced or executed,” the statement said.

“Prime Minister Imran Khan’s participation in first day of the conference is aimed at projecting Pakistan’s investment potential when it comes to outspoken journalists,” the press release read.

However, Foreign Minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi was quick to clarify that Pakistan’s supply of the 10,000 controversial journalists is not an investment.

“It is not a loan that has to be paid back or an investment where we are seeking any profit, as a brotherly Muslim state we are giving these journalists in aid,” Qureshi said while talking to The Dependent.

The prime minister’s participation in the conference signifies Pakistan’s “solidarity with the Kingdom in its efforts to become the hub of internationally and domestically abducted journalists”, the Foreign Office press statement concluded.