UN condemns strike on Ko Ko Korina

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

The United Nations and a host of member countries have condemned on friday the brutal and senseless attack on Ko Ko Korina. “This is a terrible, meaningless tragedy,” said António Guterres, Secretary General of the United Nations. \

“We would urge the concerned nations to make all-out efforts to bring to justice those responsible for the tragedy.”

“We are together with the people of Pakistan in this terrible tragedy and would like to offer our help to the Pakistani government in making sure that something like this never, ever happens again,” said Germany Vice Chancellor Angela Merkel.

There is an emerging consensus amongst certain nations that perhaps Pakistan is not doing enough to tackle the groups that carry out such strikes.

“It is quite clear that the umbrella network known as Coke Studio operates with impunity in the country,” said Sushma Swaraj, the Indian minister for external affairs. “In fact, they even brazenly advertise themselves, with posters and banners of theirs all over the cities and towns of the country.”

Dr Maliha Lodhi, head of Pakistan’s permanent mission to the United Nations, said that the nations of the world should not use this moment, which is a time of grief for the country, to settle their own scores with Pakistan.

“There is an attempt to mainstream Coke Studio and take out the hardened terror groups within. That takes time.”