(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Saying that while the recently conducted Royal wedding between Prince Harry and American starlet Meghan Merkel was a pretty decent show, Imran Khan insisted on Sunday, that it was nowhere nearly as spectacular as the ICC World Cup final of 1992.
“Don’t get me wrong, it was pretty nice, seeing all those people in hats, smartly turned out, and adoring crowds waving and cheering. I even liked kissing bit at the end – it was all very romantic and very magical” he said speaking to reporters outside Bani Gala.
“But can any of that match the sheer excitement of the first World Cup final that Pakistan made it to, in which I was incidentally captain?”
“And to make things even more exciting, Pakistan actually slugged it out and won the thing, which was amazing. Especially when I took the last wicket and got to lift that shiny trophy” he said.
“I think the wedding was a very well coordinated affair. And I’m sure Princess Diana was smiling down upon Harry. But I have met her Highness and can assure you that she was smiling much more when I – sorry Pakistan – won the World Cup. Especially since she was alive then” he added.
“Yes even though it was England I defeated in that final” he said in response to a question from the media.
“Also, there was no one really stylish, with gravitas on the stage that day,” he continued.
“Now compare that with the sheer oomph that was there on the stage in the post-match ceremony.”
“I know these two things are different, but it is difficult not to compare when you start to, well, compare.”
