(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer)
KARTARPUR – Continuing their WhatsApp conversation at the sidelines of the groundbreaking ceremony of the Kartarpur corridor on Wednesday, Prime Minister Imran Khan and the Minister of Culture and Tourism in Indian Punjab Navjot Singh Sidhu stepped closer to an agreement.
Sources privy to the conversation reveal that Khan is on the verge of convincing Sidhu to take charge of the Pakistan side of Punjab, amidst the premier’s fears that the current Chief Minister Usman Buzdar’s rock star appeal might be on the verge of decline.
While The Dependent’s dedicated team of cybercriminals is working on hacking into their phones and bringing the exclusive screenshots of the still continuing WhatsApp conversations, analysts on both sides of the Indo-Pak border have expressed surprise that Sidhu still considers himself an Indian politician.
“He constantly says nice things about Pakistan and is a former cricketer,” noted Indian journalist and analyst Ravish Kumar. “Both of these are guarantors of political success in Pakistan, not India,” he added.
Former caretaker Punjab Chief Minister Hasan Askari Rizvi has also advised Sidhu to take up the gig.
“Representing the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf, while being the Chief Minister of Punjab is truly a unique position in the power dynamics of the country – and in turn the region,” Rizvi said. “Fortunately, I was the first one to have experienced it.”
Meanwhile, sources close to Buzdar have rubbished the assertions, saying that the magnetic appeal of Chief Minister of Punjab is here to stay.
“Once we get a longer fringe on the top and a hipster beard, CM Buzdar’s stud muffin-ness will complete its five year tenure,” a member of the Punjab Chief Minister’s makeup and costume team.
