PAT issuing tokens to politicians wanting to meet Tahir-ul-Qadri

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer)

LAHORE – Pakistan Awami Tehrik (PAT) is issuing tokens to leaders of various political parties wanting to connect with Tahir-ul-Qadri, The Dependent has reliably learnt.

According to sources these tokens aren’t limited to meetings in person, with online tokens also being issued. In fact, tokens for regular phone calls are also being given out.

“Despite being a close chum, (Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf Chairman) Imran Khan got token number 132 for Tuesday evening, which meant that he could only get to talk to Maulana Tahir-ul-Qadri by midnight,” a source close to the PAT chief confirmed.

“Of course, he wouldn’t have needed a token if it had been just a ‘yo ssup?’ call, but because he wanted to discuss potential alliances with PAT, he had to wait in queue. Maulana sb keeps both private and personal lives separate,” the source added.

While the party insiders insist that tokens started distributing when Qadri returned to Lahore late November, multiple investigations confirm that they were first seen after the Punjab government made the Lahore High Court’s Model Town incident report public.

However, one person who successfully broke the queue was the Pakistan People’s Party (PPP) co-chairperson Asif Ali Zardari.

“There is no harm in an opportunistic token adjustment,” maintains a member of Qadri’s entourage.