‘Don’t mistake our civilian economy for our military economy,’ Sheikh Rasheed warns India

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

MUZAFFARABAD – Federal Minister for Railways Sheikh Rasheed Ahmed on Friday warned India not to mistake the economy of Pakistani civilians, which may be weak, with the economy of the Pakistani military, which is as robust as any in the world.

Rasheed made the remarks during a press conference at the Central Press Club of Muzaffarabad, before joining Prime Minster Imran Khan at a Kashmir solidarity rally.

Talking to the media, Rasheed said that Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi was making a ‘terrible mistake’ by confusing Pakistan’s civilians with its military.

“We civilians are losers, pathetic people really. But Modi doesn’t know that it’s not the civilians but the military that he’ll face in war. And those guys are the best!” Rasheed said.

“Also, what Modi doesn’t know is that this great country of ours actually has two economies – one civilian and one military. He’s clearly judging us through our civilian economy if he thinks he can beat us,” he added.

Rasheed maintained that Indian PM Modi had lost his sanity and time had come for Pakistan to give the aggressor a befitting reply.

“Again, by Pakistan you know what I mean. Because we civilians can’t even give a befitting reply to our own questions, some of which we can’t even ask out loud,” the federal minister said.