Cut in Wapda budget won’t affect its performance, Wapda Chairman finally admits

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

In a shocking new development, Chairman Wapda Lt Gen (retd) Muzammil Hussain has said that the upcoming voluntary cut in the organisation’s budget increase will not affect its performance whatsoever.

Speaking to reporters on Eid day, which he was celebrating with the linemen on the front line, he said: “Irrespective of the voluntary cut in defence budget coming financial year (FY), there shall be no impact on our response potential to all types of power outages and deficit in wattage.”

“We shall adopt some belt-tightening in response to the current financial situation and the austerity measures that we have to undertake because of the IMF program,” he said.

The chairman, however, reiterated that the cut in the increase in the Wapda budget is a temporary measure and that it will be discontinued as soon as things get better. There was a tea-break when asked by a reporter why the budget wasn’t going to permanently rightsized if it didn’t really affect the operational capacity of the organisation.

The Chairman then ended the press conference, saying he had to fly out to meet the linemen of another city while the assembled journalists proceeded to the Lahore Press Club to protest against the disappearance of the reporter who had asked the question.