(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
In a late-night reshuffle, Advisor to the Prime Minister on Finance Dr Hafeez Shaikh has been given the additional charge of Chairman of the Pakistan Cricket Board.
“Tough times call for tough measures,” said Dr Firdous Ashiq Awan, speaking to reporters at a press conference at the PID in Islamabad.
“Dr Shaikh brings him an experience of instilling fiscal discipline and discipline of other kinds as well. He is just what is needed for the national cricket team.”
Though the information minister did not herself specify, it is widely believed that Dr Hafeez Shaikh’s first two steps as the PCB chief is expected to be the removal of Sarfraz Ahmed as the captain of the national team and further devaluation of the Pakistani rupee.
“We have to believe what the IMF tells us about the state of cricket in the country and Dr Shaikh brings with him a unique interface with the Fund, having worked with it closely in the past.”
When contacted, Dr Hafeez Shaikh told The Dependent that he was up to the task and that some market correction needs to take place to counter “the artificial excellence” that the team had displayed during the last management of the PCB.
“Much like the finance minister of the last regime was unhealthily obsessed with maintaining the rupee at a particular level, the last regime at the PCB was also giving disproportionate attention to winning matches.”
