Reporters Without Borders condemns the ‘incarceration in cruel conditions’ of Naila Ali

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

International journalists’ rights watchdog Reporters Without Borders (RSF) has condemned the incarceration of Pakistani journalist Naila Ali.

“We demand that the Pakistani government take notice of the matter,” said RSF Director General Christophe Deloire. “Her incarceration by a man who appears to be a warlord having some influence in the GNN area.”

“Everyday we get to see her in helpless captivity, bearing the torture of hearing the man hold forth on all issues. It is an affront to the idea of journalists’ rights and their security,” said Deloire. “The government must despatch a special forces unit and raid the said area and extract the poor journalist from that location,” added Deloire.

The interior division has already corresponded with the local authorities at GNN.

“They say they are going to try but that he has locked himself in the studio and he holds a gun to his head, threatening the control room staff that he will shoot himself if they don’t broadcast his musings,” said Interior Minister Brig (retd) Ijaz Shah. “Clearly, we’re dealing with a difficult situation here.”