(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
NEW YORK: The Sanctions Committee of the United Nations Security Council (UNSC) on Wednesday finally acknowledged the contributions of veteran non-state actor Masood Azhar in the global acting business by giving him the Lifetime Achievement Award.
The award, which many believe Azhar deserved to receive over a decade ago, was delayed owing to the persistence of the Chinese jury which has repeatedly maintained that the veteran actor wasn’t quite worthy.
Leading critics from France, the United Kingdom and the United States finally lobbied to get Azhar the recognition that he deserves.
A statement issued by the UN from the award ceremony in New York said: “Mohammad Masood Azhar Alvi was listed on 1 May 2019 pursuant to paragraphs 2 and 4 of resolution 2368 (2017) as a worthy recipient of the life-time achievement award”.
Sources at the UNSC confirm that the declaration came following a major compromise between juries from China and India, after the latter’s insistence that Azhar’s enactments in Kashmir were worthy of global acknowledgement.
Meanwhile, the Pakistani contingent at the awards had remained adamant that Azhar, a Pakistani, had done little of note at home and hence doesn’t deserve any international recognition.
However, following the award ceremony, the Pakistani critics lauded their own contribution towards Azhar’s Lifetime Achievement Award, which they insisted they wanted him to win in 2008 and 2019.
