One Billion Jobs drive kick-starts at Finance Ministry

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

ISLAMABAD – Keeping up its word of providing one billion jobs to the people of Pakistan, the incumbent government provided its latest manifestation of integrity by formally kick-starting its One Billion Jobs drive at the Finance Ministry on Thursday.

With the inauguration, the first of one billion employment opportunities has been created at the Finance Ministry, with 999,999,999 more jobs expected to follow in the next couple of weeks.

“I might have been initially misquoted on the actual number of jobs that we were going to create, but now that you’ve said it, your bhai will fulfill it,” said Federal Minister for Human and Water Resources Faisal Vawda, while talking to The Dependent.

The first vacancy listed by the government is that of the Federal Finance Minister. Sources close to the development have revealed everyone in the country is eligible to apply for the post.

“And by everyone we mean everyone. From a newborn infant to the Prime Minister of Pakistan – who in fact has expressed interest in the position – everyone is eligible,” reveals a senior government official.

Financial experts believe that the move is a masterstroke that would help the government on two different fronts.

“It will kick-start the jobs drive and also improve the state of the economy,” wrote former Finance Minister Shaukat Tareen in an email reply to The Dependent, while mistakenly attaching his CV to the message.