Foreign journalists given access to Karachi Stock Exchange near site of market crash

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

KARACHI – A group of international journalists as well as the ambassadors and finance attachés of various countries on Wednesday visited the impact site of the market crash near Karachi Stock Exchange.

Government officials made the announcement after arrangements were made for independent observers to monitor the index which had fallen by 500 points to fall at the end of day’s trading at a three-year low of 36,579 points.

The officials of the Finance Ministry briefed the delegation on the events of the day of the attack, “negating repeated false claims with ground realities”.

Talking to The Dependent via Skype from Washington, where he is busy negotiating the bailout package with the International Monetary Fund (IMF), Finance Minister Asad Umar confirmed the exercise was designed to reveal true facts to those who are not worried about Pakistan’s economic state.

“Visitors were shown craters of the economic strikes inside spaces within the Karachi Stock Exchange where there was no loss of human life or infrastructure, only the economy” the Finance Minister said.

The group also visited a nearby building that officials claim had artificially fueled the economic numbers in recent years. “We also took the delegation to the State Bank of Pakistan,” confirmed Asad Umar.

The Finance Minister confirmed that the delegation also had members of the IMF who are now convinced of the economic crash and are ready to provide the relief.