(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
The Pakistan Electronic Media Regulatory Authority has said in a new notification that any and all critics that would be appearing on television to present a review of any of Shan Shaahid’s movies shall have to be pre-approved by Shan Shaahid.
“Their expertise on the repository of art and wisdom that Shan Shaahid might be found wanting and this lack of knowledge may only spread confusion in the minds of the viewers, so the critics have to be evaluated and certified before holding forth their views,” read the notification.
“And who to better assess an individual critic’s expertise on Shan Shaahid than Shan Shaahid himself? Therefore, from now on, there shall be punitive action against any television channel that does otherwise,” read the circular.
“This is a good step in the right direction,” said the nation’s leading Shaan Shaahid expert, Shan Shaahid. “This is going to usher in a new era of Shan Shaahid appreciation.”
