Shameful that words ‘Muslims’ and ‘Mosque’ were censored, Pakistan tells India with a straight face

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

ISLAMABAD – Pakistan on Wednesday criticised India’s condemnation of the white supremacist terror attack in Christchurch for its omissions of the words ‘Muslims’ and ‘Mosque’.

Global observers, onlookers and eyewitnesses confirmed that Pakistan passed on this particular criticism to India with an unflinching straight face.

Those monitoring the facial expressions of Pakistan while it delivered its criticism to India, also noted that the fact that the message was delivered by Foreign Minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi, on behalf of the country, while sitting in China, didn’t alter Pakistan’s poker face either.

World poker face experts lauded Pakistan’s ability to pull off an incredible feat without giving anything away.

“It was almost as if they couldn’t see it themselves either. That’s the hallmark of a great poker player – the ability to act as though they can’t see their own cards,” notes Noah Matthew, a leading observer of poker faces in international relations.

Even so, some analysts also believe that the meticulously pulled off straight face is precisely because Pakistan they could not see it.

“Trust me, I am one hundred percent sure that Pakistan pulled it off so seamlessly because it could not see it. It just could not see the double play, the bluff – or whatever you might want to call it,” notes Laila Richards, another poker face analyst.

“I can promise you many of your readers reading this in Pakistan won’t see it either,” she told The Dependent.