(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD/LAHORE/KARACHI/PESHAWAR/QUETTA – ‘Shoaib Malik is the better choice as ca…’ said nation’s cricket fans initiating a sentence that spanned four days and two One Day International matches.
‘…no one can replace Sarfaraz’ was the second half of a long sentence that had begun around 6 pm local time on Sunday and was eventually finished around 9 pm local time on Wednesday.
While linguistic experts confirm that a sentence that takes over 75 hours to form might appear to be an anomaly, it is in fact pretty common.
“Especially when we consider the environment from which the specimen was taken, it is actually pretty normal for a sentence to take that long to formulate, especially given how we have chosen to define the very linguistic unit that a sentence is,” said Durdana McAllister from South Asia Language Resource Center at The University of Chicago, while talking to The Dependent.
McAllister, a leading linguist whose area of focus is South Asian languages, confirmed that the aforementioned environment is dominated by knee-jerk reactions.
“In linguistics knee-jerk is a jerk who thinks using his knees,” she said. “Our research has revealed an abnormal prevalence of these among South Asian cricket fans.”
