(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
The federal minister of state of interior Shehryar Afridi said that he would not like to discuss the issue of missing government officials because he is an extremely sensitive matter.
“I would not like to discuss this issue and issues like these because I am extremely sensitive,” he said, while speaking at a press conference. “Everyone who actually knows me predicts that I will start crying if I’m slapped around a bit.”
“It is a prediction that is correct, more or less,” he said. “I would initially keep protesting while crying, saying things like ‘b-but I’m a minister,…..you can’t do this…’ but then even that will stop and would mutate into simple loud bawling.”
“I would otherwise not admit this as you can see I am quite the Badar Munir when talking about abstract entities like Enemies Of The State or the Writ Of State, but when things get to specifics, I let out my sensitive side,” he said.
“Now if you would excuse me, it is time for me to play with my Action Force dolls, I mean action figures,” he said. “That’s right, Action Force, not GI Joe. I was very particular about this as I didn’t want the American version. No sir, not here, not on my watch.”
