(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
WASHINGTON – Finance Minister Asad Umar reaffirmed the nation that Pakistan has formally demanded money from the International Monetary Fund to address its economic challenges, and did not put forward any request.
Speaking exclusively to The Dependent, Umar said that the words used by IMF Managing Director Christine Lagarde were ‘misleading’.
“There was no requesting, imploring or begging. We demanded money as a self-respecting, sovereign state that does not need anyone’s help to reaffirm itself as the very best country in the world,” Umar said.
Umar confirmed that the demand for money came during his with Legarde on the sidelines of the IMF and World Bank annual meetings in Bali.
“The demand was strong, firm and assertive. Had it been any stronger, it could’ve been interpreted as Pakistan holding IMF on gunpoint and robbing it – which of course would’ve been pretty cool!” Umar added.
The Finance Minister urged the nation to be proud of its government for extorting more money than ever from the IMF. Asad Umar also clarified that the money that Pakistan will get is what the IMF owes the country, and should not be mistaken as borrowing.
“As a government that is absolutely clueless about the functioning of economy in the real world, it is our right to demand money from others, which is why donations have been an integral part of our strategy to revamp the economy,” he added.
