Next Asia Cup to feature five Indo-Pak matches before actual tournament begins

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

DUBAI – The Asian Cricket Council (ACC) has confirmed that the next edition of the Asia Cup in the year 2020 will feature five match Indo-Pak matches before the actual tournament begins.

In a press release issued on Wednesday, the ACC said that the five matches would be sandwiched between the qualifying tournament and the actual tournament.

“Following the qualifying tournament in 2020, India and Pakistan will play each other five times, before the main tournament, but those five matches will not have a bearing on the actual tournament,” the press release read.

An ACC official who asked to remain anonymous, largely because no one really knows who is working at the ACC, said that the five Indo-Pak matches would neither influence the tournament nor count as a series.

“We can’t call in a series because that would upset the BCCI, while these matches can’t really be a part of the main tournament because then everyone would have to play each other five times – who’d want to watch UAE vs Hong Kong five times over?” the official said.

“Also, this new format is in line with ICC and ACC squeezing as many Indo-Pak matches out of international event as possible, while helping India maintain the façade that it isn’t playing against Pakistan.”