(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
NOTTINGHAM – Criticising the scheduling of another series following the Board of Cricket Control India’s (BCCI) criticism of the Asia Cup scheduling, Indian captain Virat Kohli said it was unfair to the team that they had to celebrate Independence Day in the circumstances.
“August 15 coming right in the middle of a five match Test series? That’s so unfair. It’s so unfair to celebrate Independence Day in such conditions,” Kohli said while talking to the media ahead of the third Test at Trent Bridge.
Further discussing the conditions in question the Indian captain blamed both the scheduling and the playing conditions.
“Facing James Anderson when the ball is swinging a mile – is this what you call Independence?” Kohli said. “Also, my question to whoever thought it was a good idea to schedule this series like this: please go and read up on India’s history and learn who India won independence from.”
Kohli added that while that hasn’t been a part of the contract, or playing conditions for over a century, he and his teammates are willing to give do gunah lagaan if that means the remaining three Tests won’t be played.