(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
LAHORE – The price of kaal daali has skyrocketed since the victory of Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaaf (PTI) in the 2018 Election, according to our confidential sources in Lahore, Larkana and Charsadda.
Following the publication of Reham Khan’s book in which she spilled the beans (including kaali daal) about her life with PTI Chief Imran Khan, politicians from different parties started stocking up on the lentil in question, sources have confirmed.
Reportedly, there were inquiries about its availability in Teen Murti Bhavan, the Nehru-Gandhi family’s abode in New Delhi.
Facing the acute demand, there has been a shortage of kaali daal in local markets and it is available only in small amounts in the black (lentil) market across the country.
Our International correspondents in London and Washington DC have reported unconfirmed reports about black lentil’s usage among Labor Party bigwigs and Republican party members fighting for their political lives.
With the market rates set to be formally announced this week, there have been reports of mass hoarding of kaali daal in various parts of the country outside the political industry as well.
“We analysts don’t want to prematurely come,” began a leading economist, wishing anonymity, while talking to The Dependent “to any conclusions,” he concluded.
“But we are looking at a very possible scenario where all currencies and commodities would be measured against kaali daal, globally.”
