(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD/LAHORE/KARACHI/PESHAWAR/QUETTA – The nation has clarified where it stands on the position of Islamist extremism, by giving their verdict in the election this week.
The position of the nation on religious extremism wasn’t only clarified by the fact that the Islamist parties in the country won roughly the same number of seats that they usually do on average, but also by the fact that the party that was voted into power had twice funded a Taliban madrassa during its provincial rule.
International observers have called this a resounding statement of intent for a country that is accused of harbouring jihadists, and wherein news of religious extremists subjugating others is regularly reported.
“Even though the Tehrik-e-Labbaik Pakistan (TLP) was the third largest party in Karachi, the business hub of the country, in terms of popular vote, the fact that the Islamist parties did not manage to win any seats – like they always do – shows that Pakistan is now a completely different country,” wrote a prominent liberal British newspaper.
“Even though groups affiliated with Hafiz Saeed, and other radical Islamist parties managed to win enough votes to dent the vote bank of the Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N), which is why they were fielded in the polls in the first place, the fact that they did not win any seats is a positive sign for India,” wrote a prominent liberal Indian newspaper.
