Crackdown on political workers wrong unless I order it: Shehbaz Sharif

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

LAHORE – Dismissing allegations of having threatened local administration and police officials of Lahore following a widespread crackdown on Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) workers a day ahead of former PM Nawaz Sharif and his daughter Maryam Nawaz’s return to Lahore from London, former CM Punjab Shehbaz Sharif has said his statement ‘waqt hamesha ek jaisa naheen rehta’ was actually meant as a pun for his own party.

With reports of arrests of political workers of PMLN in Rawalpindi and Lahore making news across the country, a defiant Shehbaz Sharif lashed out against the authorities over the ‘massive, unjust and unconstitutional’ crackdown on political workers of his party in a press conference.

“So what if all of this had been done in the past under my very own government against the opposition parties in this same city?”

“All I am saying is it’s wrong. It’s wrong unless I order it,” he said leaving the reporters baffled.

The former CM reiterated his stance over the crackdown saying he will hold those behind this accountable. “Waqt hamesha ek jaisa naheen rehta,” he said while warning administration and police officials. “You know what I am capable of. Just because I did not lend my rain boots to the interim CM during the flooding in the city he has turned vindictive against me, my party and my workers.”

It was only after a reporter pointed out that a leader of the opposition party had used the same phrase – “waqt hamesha ek jaisa naheen rehta” – in response to the crackdown of PML-N workers in Lahore that the former CM clarified the statement.

“Array wohee tou main keh raha hoon!”

“Waqt hamesha ek jaisa naheen rehta. Dekh lo haal!”

The said leader of the opposition party also released a statement condemning Sharif’s ‘theft of my oh-so-amazing-and-genuine punch line’.

“Kya matlab bhai? Be creative. Chor na hon tou.”