CJP condemns Juventus for prioritising Cristiano Ronaldo over Diamer-Bhasha Dam

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

ISLAMABAD – In another harshly-worded swagger-laden statement Chief Justice of Pakistan Mian Saqib Nisar condemned Italian football giants Juventus for spending €100m ($117m) on purchasing Portuguese captain Cristiano Ronaldo from Real Madrid.

The CJP was of the opinion that the money could’ve been better spent on the construction of Diamer-Bhasha Dam.

“I know addressing Pakistan’s water shortage is not exactly the responsibility of an Italian football club, but it isn’t really the responsibility of the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court either,” he said jumping up from his chair, pointing both of this thumbs from over his shoulders towards his back to celebrate that line.

Justice Nisar’s statement came as the Supreme Court on Wednesday issued directives that the construction of Diamer-Bhasha and Mohmand dams should start immediately, and ordered the top football clubs in the world to donate for the cause.

“We’re calling it the Diamer-Bhasha Champions League, and whoever donates the most will be crowned the champion at the end of the season,” Nisar said.

With $11 billion being the estimated cost for the construction of the dam, the CJP was especially critical of the Serie A champions for missing out on making a great start in the Diamer-Bhasha Champions League, by seeming to favour the UEFA Champions League with Ronaldo’s purchase.

“With his four-year contract taking the overall deal to over $250 million, it would only take 44 Ronaldos to construct the Diamer-Bhasha Dam,” CJP Nisar reminded the football world, most notably Real Madrid who are now expected to go on a spending spree to replace Cristiano Ronaldo.