Will demand explanation for FATF grey-listing after becoming PM: Ahmed Ludhianvi

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

JHANG – Ahle Sunnat Wal Jamaat (ASWJ) Chief Ahmed Ludhianvi has vowed to challenge the Financial Action Task Force’s (FATF) decision to place Pakistan on its grey list after a plenary meeting in Paris.

Ludhianvi, who is contesting the election from NA-115 from the platform of the Rah-i-Haq Party, whereas his ASWJ colleagues Masroor Jhangvi and Muawia Azam have filed nomination papers from PP-126, expects to become the Prime Minister of Pakistan after next month’s elections.

Talking exclusively to The Dependent Ludhianvi said he feels he’s the strongest contender.

“That I will become the prime minister is a given, what I want to know is why my beloved country was put on the grey-list by that FATF,” Ludhianvi said, adding that once elected he will challenge the call.

“I will not only demand an explanation for this from the world powers, I will coerce them into undoing it by unleashing kafir fatwas on those kafirs.”

Fittingly then, the government has ordered to unfreeze Ludhiavi’s assets and removed the ban on ASWJ’s movement, which – among other things – allows him to purchase and carry arms.

“Arms that will be used on those FATF people if they don’t undo their decision,” Ludhianvi said.