(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
In the latest of its infamous u-turns, the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf has nominated firebrand right-wing columnist and television analyst Orya Maqbool Jan and noted ‘hereditary thief’ Crime Master Gogo as caretaker chief minister of the Punjab.
“Sorry for the earlier mistake, when I had said that Orya Saheb, Yaqub Izhar and Dr Hasan Askari Rizvi were to be our official nominees for the post,” said the Leader of the Opposition in the Punjab Assembly Mehmood-ur-Rasheed. “Our final nominees are Orya Maqbool Jan and Crime Master Gogo.”
However, there is a difference of opinion on the front within the party as the Central Information Secretary Fawad Chaudhry says that the two official nominees are noted columnist and television analyst Haroon-ur-Rasheed and Megatron, the leader of the Decepticons.
Political analysts believe that Gogo is a bold choice but not acceptable to many, given he is, quite openly, a crime master. “But that shouldn’t be a problem eventually,” said Mazhar Abbas, political analyst. “As the PTI is going to change the names by the time your story goes to print. Hell, the names would be changed by the time you upload it online.”
