(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
LAHORE – Punjab Chief Minister and Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) President Shehbaz Sharif on Wednesday said that in addition to establishing a cancer hospital to provide free treatment, he would also be winning an ODI cricket world cup soon after the 2018 elections, if the PML-N is elected.
“If the people re-elected us in the 2018 elections for serving them, the foundation stone of cancer hospital would be laid in September 2018 and the cricket world cup would be won in June 2019,” he said, promising to introduce a culture of service in hospitals without any strike or maladministration, and vowing to improve the power-hitting and consistency of the national team’s batsmen.
“For this hospital, invitation would be extended to the best Pakistani doctors working across the globe to return back home and serve the people,” said the chief minister.
“And for this world cup, invitation would be extended to the best Pakistani cricketers working across the globe to return back home and serve the people – some of whom may or may not have been banned, and others may or may not have retired.”
Conceding that these achievements would be setbacks for the party’s political rivals, Shehbaz said that he has all his bases covered.
“I already have been married more than a sufficient number of times,” he said.
