(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
JODHPUR: Bollywood superstar Salman Khan finally got some relief at the conclusion of the blackbuck hunting saga of more than two decades ago.
The family of the blackbuck that he killed while on the shoot for his movie Hum Saath Saath Hain has decided to accept the offer of bloodmoney in exchange for forgiving the actor.
The actor, who had been sentenced for five years for the crime, was quiet in the press conference where his legal counsel did most of the talking.
“We are happy that the family in question abided by the larger code of conduct we refer to as jungle ka qanoon and accepted our proposal,” said Ravi Malkera, legal counsel for Khan.
“We would also like to use this opportunity to appeal to the public to go and watch Race 3, which he is headlining and which is going to be released in the theaters this Eid.
The press conference concluded with Khan taking off his shirt, flexing his pectoral muscles and leaving the hall.
The family of the Indian Antelope was generally positive in its views. “I know our loved one is gone, but those poor street-dwellers that he crushed didn’t even get diyat.”