Please keep a notebook and copy of Constitution at hand
The language he speaks remotely resembles English, as our ‘viewers’ hear alien words like quo warranto, Habeas Corpus and endless acronyms like PLD, CP, CMA, ITO, RoPA that are baffling and uninteresting
‘SC hearings of Panamagate Case should go live so that people know what is going on in the Court,’ demands PTI, a party named after justice itself. I, dearest sirs and ma’ams, will try my level best to sketch before you what IK demands. So brace yourselves for SC Live in 3, 2, 1.
Empty Courtroom No2 sees first signs of activity when hefty travel bags carried by green sherwani clad staff of SC start arriving. In order to raise your curiosity, camera will focus on the bags and the ticker will yell, ‘Suspicious bags found in Courtroom No2 of SC’ on one channel. ‘’Unattended, suspicious bags left in Courtroom No2 by mysterious sherwani wearing individuals’ on the other channel. And to top both of them, the third channel will run the following ticker ‘Bombs been planted in Courtroom No2 ahead of Panamagate hearing: Sources’. All them tickers will vanish once lawyers open the bags and fish out hefty books of law and other documents to be stacked on tables before hearing.
All of a sudden, a group of people rush in the courtroom around nine to grab a seat. It’s a mix bunch of party workers entrusted to hold a seat for their top brass, newspaper reporters, and lesser representatives of political parties. ‘Minor stampede in SC over empty seats’ the ticker will flash across screens all around Pakistan.
All stand. Judges enter and take their seats. The proceeding begins. A grey-haired, old man takes the dais and starts arguing the case. The language he speaks remotely resembles English, as our ‘viewers’ hear alien words like quo warranto, Habeas Corpus and endless acronyms like PLD, CP, CMA, ITO, RoPA that are baffling and uninteresting.
‘Milord, it is my most humble submission that the honourable Court allow me two days’ time to ask my client on the matter and furnish an answer before your Lordships’ and for that Milord, I need time as the facts are not readily available with me’; what exactly sentences like these mean? The viewers ask. They are hiding something with such delaying tactics as they need time to manufacture new documents out of thin air, thinks the viewer.
The camera takes a turn, IK and his entourage in focus. ‘Khan is wearing camel-coloured chappal’ comes the ticker.
The feast for the lens, however, is the witty remarks and observations of the judges followed by laughter from the audience that lighten up serious, intense hearings. But there is a catch, most of the wit and fun in these hearings is of highbrow, erudite variety aimed at ‘readers’ and ‘observers’ rather than ‘viewers’ hooked on slapstick and Lahori-theatre comedy where insults are jokes and jokes have to insult.
No one, honestly, no one can fathom how things will unravel once cameras are allowed inside SC. As then, dearest sirs and ma’ams, we’ll have showmen and performers in lieu of thoroughly learned, hardworking lawyers
Back in the nostalgic days of yore politicos used to play to the gallery in order to glean sympathies and votes. Now, in our brave new world, the gallery has been replaced by the twin duo of camera and mic. If one ain’t playing to the lens, one ain’t playing at all.
The statements given by the politicians from both sides of the aisle right outside the Supreme Court after hearing are televised live. There they wrap their curses in insinuation, they take potshots at opponents every other minute, they say SC said so-and-so and vindicated their stance, and then leave in the like-minded herd of their trusted companions.
No one, honestly, no one can fathom how things will unravel once cameras are allowed inside SC. As then, dearest sirs and ma’ams, we’ll have showmen and performers in lieu of thoroughly learned, hardworking lawyers. The judges will then be liked for their witty remarks and loathed for the observations ‘viewers’ think benefits the other party. And most importantly, all the nastiness and senselessness we are made subject to by the ‘idiot-box’ will find a new avenue to debase and to defile in shape of ‘Big Marble Palace’.
About time to learn the ‘Three Ds’ of how to behave before a court of law, whether big or small. They are decorum, discipline and decency. The decorum of the court is observed by all and sundry because matters under consideration, no matter how paltry, entail grave consequences. Discipline is not only the hallmark of law but also an end which it strives to achieve. While decency, in this context, simply means that all present should behave themselves at all time.
PS: If anytime in future, the proceedings of SC are broadcasted live on television and you want to give it a try, kindly make sure you hold a notebook in your lap and a pen in your hand to take notes. Also keep a copy of the Constitution of Pakistan handy. I bet you’ll learn more in an hour than everything you’ve been told in the past by an army of know-it-all hosts, anchors, seers and telepaths.
