Every once in a while, we see that children would try to get their mothers agree to award them if they ate their dinner, got into bed on time or turned off the TV. It is easy to fall into the trap of bribery. Children do toe the line when they are bribed, however, parents need to know at what cost. Many psychologists agree bribing teaches children to expect rewards for basic normal behaviour.
Most importantly, bribes rob children of the opportunity to feel good about doing the right thing. It does not allow them to heed their conscience. Children need practice in learning to change their bad behaviour. Bribing takes away the internal work that they need to do to make good and moral decisions.
If we cant bribe then what can we do? Although it may seem scary at first, there are better ways to discipline your child. We need to expend more energy at figuring out what triggers our childrens bad behaviour. Young children do not need to go to fancy restaurants if you know they have a hard time sitting.
They can be left at home with a senior member or one parent. If you know your child gets upset when his TV time is over, dont turn it on to begin with. Find other activities. It is important to plan your days so that your kids have every opportunity to enjoy and learn appropriately.
There are many reasons why children are not listening to or complying with their parents wishes. Children might not want to go to school because their friend was mean to them the day before. They might not be feeling well. If we find out what is bothering them, we can then solve their problems easily without resorting to bribes.
IQRA ZAHID DOGAR
Lahore
